I went from riding CCI** in 2001 with great plans for 2004 Olympics to having a wicked fall at Rainier 2002 where Mack and I fell and I separated my shoulder. Three weeks later I was back on him riding Preliminary to get my confidence back and he severely injured his stifle. Rehab of 6months to a year. Start again in 2003. Mack showing no lameness but does not feel right. Flexions, blocks, injections in hocks, injections in his coffin joints, and finally injections in his back. Things were starting to get to be too much to keep him going. Semi retire him and do dressage and jumper shows in 2003 and 2004. The dream starts to rapidly fizzle. My confidence is pretty shaken. So I pick myself up and start some nice young warmbloods. Both ended up being not that interested in cross country. Another blow to the confidence. Bring Mack back to event in 2005 and he fractures his pasturn bone on cross country and had to be put down three weeks later. Push forward. Start some young horses but my stars were not lining up.....Each thing was chipping away at my confidence. I was really not aware how bad it was until I started riding Quest this year (March 2010).
Dr. Susi Cienciella and Dr. Bruce Baker had offered me Susi's horse "Quest" to ride. Susi said "I just want someone to ride him. He is so bored in the field. He just wants to be ridden." I had a very strange pressing feeling to pursue this horse. I sat on Quest and had an instant bond. I brought him home a few days later as a 'free lease.' I mentioned to Susi that I would ride him at home and maybe take him Entry level eventing as 'that was all I needed and wanted to do at this point in my life.' I do not know what I was thinking when I said that - I think it was my 'lack of confidence' talking. Each day Quest and I grew closer and closer and after three weeks I bought him (Dr.Susi and Dr.Bruce generously offered to sell him to me for $1).
We did a clinic at Pre-Entry, a clinic at Pre-Training, one event at Pre-Training then straight into Training Level. Within three months he was going training level eventing and doing well! Quest just kept giving me the feeling of 'yes we can'. Wow what a feeling. Confidence slowly coming back. And this horse just keeps giving and giving. Not only did he give me confidence but he required me to give him confidence back. Throughout this season I would feel him question what I was asking him to do and then I would give the 'you can do it', 'we can do it' back to him.
Yes we can. What a great feeling. Complete trust. The feeling of confidence. The feeling of CAN do it. Quest has come into my life to restore my confidence in my riding. That is my epiphany. Confidence.
love
special bond
YES WE CAN!
Confidence
